


Peter's Bad at Santa

by MsCaptainWinchester (rons_pigwidgeon)



Series: 25 Days of Spideypool Christmas 2020 [9]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Chaotic Switches Peter Parker and Wade Wilson, Dirty Talk, Dom Wade Wilson, Innocence, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Peter Sucks at Playing Santa, Santa Roleplay, Santa/Elf Roleplay, Screen Reader Friendly, Spanking, Sub Peter Parker, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:14:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28004490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rons_pigwidgeon/pseuds/MsCaptainWinchester
Summary: “Ho, Ho, Ho, little boy. Come sit on Santa’s lap and tell me if you’ve been naughty or nice this year,” Peter said in his best approximation of a Santa voice. Wade was looking it him skeptically from across the room, decked out in a cheesy holiday sweater and matching reindeer boxer-briefs.“That was terrible,” he said. He was giving Peter a look like he’d just killed his dog right in front of him. So much for sexy Santa play.Peter immediately broke character with a flail of his hands. “What do you mean it’s terrible? I’m doing my best Santa!”Wade shook his head. “You’re best Santa is the worst. Get up. We’re switching places.”
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Series: 25 Days of Spideypool Christmas 2020 [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2025320
Comments: 6
Kudos: 153
Collections: Isn't it Bromantic- Holiday Bingo 2020





	Peter's Bad at Santa

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all can thank [Corey5286](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corey5268/pseuds/Corey5268) for the Santa/elf roleplay prompt that birthed this fic. Once again not beta read because I finished it literally 10 minutes ago. I'll get my shit together enough to get things to Juko in time eventually, guys, I swear. 
> 
> Written as part of the Bromantic Winter Bingo 2020 event for the Santa square.

“Ho, Ho, Ho, little boy. Come sit on Santa’s lap and tell me if you’ve been naughty or nice this year,” Peter said in his best approximation of a Santa voice. Wade was looking at him skeptically from across the room, decked out in a cheesy holiday sweater and matching reindeer boxer-briefs.

“That was terrible,” he said. He was giving Peter a look like he’d just killed his dog right in front of him. So much for sexy Santa play.

Peter immediately broke character with a flail of his hands. “What do you mean it’s terrible? I’m doing my best Santa!”

Wade shook his head. “You’re best Santa is the worst. Get up. We’re switching places.”

“But you said you wanted me to be the Santa and dom you.”

“Yeah well, dom!Santa isn’t your best work. It’s hard to take you seriously when you can’t even fill out the fat suit. And that voice…” Wade scrunched his nose up in distaste.

“I’m not wearing a fat suit—” Peter protested, looking down at himself in the oversized Santa suit Wade had made him wear.

“Exactly. Up, come on, let’s go. We’ve got some roleplay to get into.” He waved his hands at Peter to get up out of their recliner, decked out in garland and a red velvet tablecloth to look like Santa’s chair.

“You’re don’t like my Santa voice either?” Peter asked as he got up. He wasn’t pouting. He wasn’t.

“Baby boy, you sound like the twinkiest twink who’s ever twinked trying to sound like a grizzled old man. It’s adorable, but not it. Like Quinten trying to imitate Logan.” He took Peter’s pouting face in his hands and kissed him fast and hard. “I love you for it, but get the fuck out of that costume and into the elf costume before I get out the paddle.”

Peter went from pouty to turned-on in .002 seconds. He pushed the suit coat off his shoulders, and it fell to the floor in one motion, which definitely didn’t make Wade’s point for him or anything. The pants got dragged down with the coat, leaving Peter in just ahis boxers and the boots, which he quickly kicked off. Wade smacked him on the butt on his way out of the living room to go find the elf costume Wade had made him wear for their Christmas card.

When he came back into the living room, Wade was in the full costume, filling it out much better than Peter had. The beard even fit him better. “There’s my favorite elf,” he said in a perfect Santa voice. “Have you reached your toy quota for the year?” He patted his lap with a heated look that zipped straight down Peter’s spine.

“Well, I wasn’t quite able to get all the dollies’ faces painted yet, but I promise I’ll work really hard to finish on time, Santa,” Peter said in his best elf voice as he slipped into Wade’s lap.

Wade raised an eyebrow, bright eyes broadcasting that Peter was doing much better this time around. “I’m disappointed to hear that, Peter. I expected better work from my top elf,” he said, pulling Peter over his lap with one hand while the other squeezed at Peter’s ass, _hard_. Peter squirmed closer, putting his palm to Wade’s chest, velvet soft under his fingers.

“I’m so sorry, Santa. I’ve been working so hard, but I get so distracted thinking about you that I can’t focus,” Peter said, whining a little to play up the innocent act even as he slid his hand under the coat and stroked his his fingers over Wade’s peck.

Wade licked his lips, fingers slipping under the waistband of Peter’s leggings. “Oh? What kinds of things do you think about when you think about me, Peter?”

“Well, sometimes I think about your beard tickling my face when you kiss me, or how much I like your big hands on me. How much I like it when you give me your extra special present.” Peter ground his ass down into Wade’s lap for emphasis, biting his lip. Over the top, but the way Wade’s eyes darkened told him it was worth it. “I really like it when you spank me when I’ve been bad and tell me how naughty I am.” He felt his cheeks warm at that one, his voice going a little huskier at the thought. 

“Yeah, you want Santa to spank your bare ass and tell you how disappointed I am that you didn’t do all your work?” Wade teased a finger against his hole before squeezing his ass again, this time against bare skin.

Peter nodded, still biting his lip. “Please, Santa,” he said, squirming more.

Wade pulled his hands away and shuffled forward on the chair, indicating with his hands. “Well, you know what to do then,” he said.

Peter scrambled off his lap and lay himself over Wade’s knees, heart starting to pound. His dick was already half-hard and not far from full mast. Below him, he could feel Wade’s erection pressing against his stomach.

“How many do we think you deserve? Twenty?” He rubbed at Peter’s butt over the leggings, massaging the skin with emphasis. “Thirty?” he asked in a deeper voice, massaging a little harder. Peter shivered. “Ho, Ho, thirty it is!” He smacked lightly once before pulling Peter’s leggings down to tangle at his knees.

Peter hadn’t bothered keeping his underwear on, which left him bare to the warm air of their apartment. Wade smoothed a hand over his bare skin, pulling his cheeks apart to admire his hole and stroke fingers over it, down to his sack, and back again. Peter whined under the touch, fingers already starting to tingle in anticipation mixed with a little bit of his senses going haywire, knowing what was coming.

The first smack was quick and sharp, making him gasp and jump in surprise. “You’ve been such a naughty elf, not getting your work done, having impure thoughts, not wearing your very special magic underwear. I’m very disappointed in you, Peter. I think you better count for me to show me what a good little elf you can be if you really try.” He spanked him again, a hard *CRACK* that made Peter jump again.

“TWO!” he shouted. His ass already stung and his senses were going wild. He had to cling to the floor with sticky fingers to keep himself from squirming right out of Wade’s lap.

“You don’t sound very sorry for disappointing Santa, little elf,” Wade said, still in his deep Santa voice, spanking Peter a third time right over the second smack.

“Three! I’m so sorry, Santa. I promise I’ll have all the dollies’ faces painted in the morning!”

*SMACK*

“FOUR! I won’t ever disappoint you again, sir! I promise!” Peter’s ass was already stinging with every hit.

The next five came in rapid fire, sending electricity down Peter’s body as he quickly yelled out the numbers. At ten, Wade paused to rub his hand over the sore skin. Peter spied his admiring look down at Peter’s ass and relaxed just long enough for the next smack to shock him again.

“Eleven, Jesus fuck!” he yelled.

“Using the Lord’s name in vein, are you? Might earn you another five for the sacrilege.”

“You don’t even believe in God!” Peter yelled, yelping at the next smack and calling out the number before Wade pinched him for losing track.

“Sounds like we’re looking for another ten with all that back-talk.” The next one was so hard it rocked Peter on his lap. Peter cried out, tears starting to stream down his cheeks. Wade was _not_ pulling his punches, and it was starting to fray Peter’s sanity.

By the time he counted out “Twenty-five!” he was floating on a little bit of a high, his ass on complete fire and definitely bruised. He was going to have so much trouble sitting for the next few days, and it didn’t even matter.

“You’re being such a good little elf now, sweetheart. So compliant. Listening so well. Do you want to stop now, or keep going?” Wade asked in a husky tone, rubbing his hand over Peter’s bruised ass again, leaning to the side to look Peter in the face.

Peter grabbed onto the arm closest to him, pleading, “No, please, keep going. I want to make you happy, sir.”

Wade pushed the hair off his sweaty forehead and looked at him for a long moment before nodding. “Just five more, baby. You’re doing so well for Santa. I’m so proud of you.”

Peter purred at the praise, rubbing against Wade’s cock rock hard against his stomach. Another smack and Peter murmured, “Twenty-Six.” He was barely holding it together, fingers clinging so hard to their hardwood he thought he might pull the boards up. He didn’t care.

“Think you can come like this, baby?” Wade asked, spreading his cheeks to spit down onto his hole and prod it a bit with two fat fingers. “I bet you could.”

“Santa…” Peter whined, too on-edge for more than one-word pleas. Wade spanked him again, right over his hole. “Shit, Twenty-Seven!”

“Good boy,” Wade cooed. The hand probing at him came back wet with lube and began probing deeper, slow and steady even as Wade spanked him one more time.

“Twenty-Eight!” His ass was already so bruised it was almost numb, but each spank rocked him into Wade’s lap and sent him a little closer to the edge.

Wade started fingering him deeper, a second finger joining the first, even as he hit him again over the backs of his thighs.

“Thirty-Nine!”

The final smack came with a dig into his prostate that sent him spilling all over Wade’s lap, crying out the final number with tears choking his words. He lost himself to his orgasm for he didn’t know how long, squirming and convulsing over Wade’s knees with Wade’s hard cock digging into his stomach and Wade’s fingers fucking into him the whole way.

When he came back down from orgasmic daze, Wade was murmuring praise at him in a Santa-deep voice while petting his hair off his forehead. “You did so good for Santa, baby. Such a good little helper for me. You look so pretty falling apart for me. Such a good little elf.”

Peter stretch a bit, trying to get his breathing back to normal. When he blinked up at Wade, he still felt a little floaty and very happy. “Do you forgive me for not finishing my toys, Santa?” he asked in a soft voice.

Wade growled, picking Peter up and standing with him. The next thing Peter knew, he was kneeling on the chair with his arms draped over the back and Wade was sliding in behind him. “You drive me crazy,” Wade told him, breaking character for the first time to press a wet kiss to his neck, hands hot on Peter’s lower back, helping him arch just right.

“I don’t mean to, Santa,” Peter said, making his voice higher in a tease. He was rewarded by a bite to his throat and Wade’s thick cock pushing against his hole. He moaned, pushing back, fading erection already showing interest again.

“Santa’s gonna show you just how good a boy you’ve been,” Wade said into his ear in dark growl. Peter shivered, pushing back. Wade slid in in one smooth motion that made them both groan, Wade collapsing against his back.

Peter grabbed onto his hand and pulled it onto the back of the couch with him, threading their fingers together to ground himself as Wade started fucking him. Each thrust set his ass on fire again. He bit into Wade’s finger, whining against it when a sharp thrust hit him just right. Neither of them lasted very much longer, Wade spilling into him with a cut-off grunt into his shoulder while Peter shot his second load of the night onto the red velvet cloth they’d draped over the chair.

“Told you my Santa was better,” Wade said, panting. Peter bit his finger again, harder this time, and started giggling into their joined hands.

“I deserve an Oscar for that elf performance, don’t try to say I don’t.”

Wade pulled out slowly, kissing Peter on the ear in apology for his wince. “You deserve an AVN award for sure. I’ll submit the performance for review.” He smacked Peter on the ass, making him yowl and jump to the ceiling, dribbling Wade’s cum all over the living room. Wade laughed all the way into the backroom, trailing Santa gear behind him. Peter dropped back onto the floor and followed him into the shower, grumbling. He wasn’t going to sit right for a _month_. And Wade was totally cleaning up all that cum. By himself.

**Author's Note:**

> I do not consent to my stories being listed on Goodreads or other book platforms.
> 
> If you want writing updates from me, you can follow me on Twitter [@RonsPigwidgeon](https://twitter.com/RonsPigwidgeon), [Tumblr](https://mscaptainwinchester.tumblr.com/), [NewTumbl](https://mscaptainwinchester.newtumbl.com/), or [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/MsCaptainWinchester).
> 
> And if you'd like to come yell about my main ship, Spideypool, with me, join the 18+ Discord server I co-mod, [Isn't It Bromantic](https://discord.gg/w6UyAn7)!


End file.
